Monday 5 August 2013

Grieving my loss

This last weekend was hard. Friday night B got sick two times. Having a kid come in at midnight to tell you they had an accident sucks. But then a few hours later to tell you they puked and the dogs eating it. Oh boy. 

I got about 4 hours sleep. I was exhausted. It was lazy morning for the kids. Keeping B away from his sisters. I made lunch. The kids got cinnamon rice with brown sugar. Then we went off for rest time. 

The girls were split in to different rooms but finally ended up together quietly. B was in bed with me watching tv as I tried to nap. Getting woken up every 20 min to be told about the show or if it was inappropriate. 

B woke me up to talk. We talked about feelings. I told him if he ever wanted to be a girl again to let me know. B told me "mommy I'm a boy, why would I want to wear girl stuff? And mommy can you PLEASE take my earrings out?". I had been holding off on taking them out for the last 3-5 months. Praying that its a phase. But it's not. My child is transgendered. My child is a boy mentally and emotionally. 

The earrings came out. I cried when he left the room. The little red studs are in my jewelry box. They are there, hidden away. The last memory of my child. 

My new child is B. my boy. My handsome prince. 

Part of me is sad. But part of me knows we have only started our journey. Next step, kindergarten as a boy. 
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5 comments:

  1. Anonymous5 August 2013 at 12:56

    Like ive said before, B is lucky to have a loving, accepting mother. You can call or text anytime you need a hug from new york!!

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    Replies
    1. Katrina12 August 2013 at 12:15

      Thanks! do keep in touch! txt me any time!

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  2. Familiar Chaos7 August 2013 at 19:41

    Your child wants them out, my son wanted them pierced. Got them pierced, now he asks me a million times a day when he can switch out the unisex black/silver studs that I chose for him for some big rainbow studs, or any other obnoxiously girly earrings he sees. Not exactly the kind of thing my husband will approve of, and I know he will try to wear them to school and get teased to no end. He hasn't actually told me that he is a girl, or wants to be one though. I guess it's time we sat down and had a discussion about it. :/ I'm Nicky'sMom from GSLounge BTW. :)

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    Replies
    1. Familiar Chaos7 August 2013 at 19:48

      P.S. I actually just changed my username on the lounge. It's now SparklySon. ;)

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    2. Katrina12 August 2013 at 12:16

      Thank you for following. my husband was sad yesterday when I cut B's hair. He got a boy cut. around the same length as daddy. He was sad to see that his girl is gone and he now has a son.

      Delete

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