I have lost it

The last 6 months have been hard. We have lost a few things. Things that is making me fall apart. 

Last may I lost my faith in child care workers. When B was verbally and emotionally abused I lost my ability to trust them, and trust people with my child. 

In June I lost faith with my church. I think in a way I lost my faith in God. When our church told us B was wrong I lost faith in that. Faith that God loves us. 

Shortly after that I started to loose my marriage. Fighting getting worse. That he was blaming me for B being transgender. The pain of this pushing our marriage apart. The hut that he thought I was doing it for attention. 

Then I lost my grandmother. My Baba as us Ukrainian people call her. I was by her side as she laboured her breathing. As the prest came and did the last rights. 

Then I lost it when I had to step in for my mother and plan a funeral. Do an eulogy. And call family. And I'm still dealing with lawyers. 

Now my father and I are not getting along and I'm loosing my mother and father. 

My dog, my wonderful cuddle buddy but me out of the blue. He bit me on the foot and my foot is infected. I'm trying to find a rescue but no one will take him. It's looking like I'm going to have to put him down. 

The hardest thing. I'm not over loosing my daughter. I miss my daughter. I really miss her. I love who my son B is but I miss my daughter. 

Now I'm about to share with you my favorite photo of my daughter. This was from my best friends wedding.