It was hard to let go. To give care of B over to my in laws. Someone who I don't know if they will protect B like me. Fight for B like me.
This trip I was hoping for it to be a great time to relax and reconnect with my husband.
Yet I feel like the wall is there bigger then ever. I'm with him, but not with him. A smile on my face with my heart breaking inside.
Today at a group swim at one of the ceneotes (limestone sink hole) I was reminded with him fighting. With how I want to leave.
I had them make up the room as a surprise for his birthday. But got yelled at through dinner. Apparently I need to be psychic. The bed with rose petals for us to make love on ended in him yelling, me in the hot tub, and him snoring.
Makes me wonder if it's time to move out.
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