This is the first time little sister hasn't been in a program. After the issue with the kids daycare / preschool I can't send her. I have way to much anxiety. I just can't send her off alone.
Little sister and I went out for French fries since it was raining. Talking about how her big brother and sister are in school and how she gets to be with me and come to her grandparents during the week.
We walked back to the school. 10 min early and she had a slip up with using B birth name. I gently corrected telling little sister that it hurts when she uses the wrong name.
The kids came out one at a time and were so excited! B came out first. Pointed at me and ran out. Then H was behind and yelled that's my mommy too! And ran over.
We started our walk home. Talking about our day at school. The kids talking about what they did. H playing with blocks and B with the trucks and cars. H telling me how she asked B to work on the counting blocks but he chose to play with something else.
We got home and had snack. I printed out some work sheets and the kids had fun...
Next we we go back again on Monday. By Friday they are in full time? I'm very scared to put my trust in these two teachers to leave my kids alone with them.
Friday I Speke with a lawyer about what my next step with the daycare is. Anxiety big time.
Some nights I lie in bed and my mind runs. I think about what my life should have been. Then I look at what's going on in my life right now and I wonder how I feel so alone. Like I'm the one getting sent in to school alone.
This road I'm traveling down. The life of having a transgender child. It's a lonely road. One that only a select few people understand. It's even harder as friends and family don't understand. Even my husband and I don't understand each other.
Once again I feel alone
I can only imagine how hard and alone this road is for you. But from the other side of this issue, as transgendered, I am in awe of how much good work you are doing for B! You are paving him a road much easier than mine was, and doing things for him I was able to do only as an adult. You are making life so much easier for him with every step you make :)
ReplyDeletePlease try to find support groups where you can share your problems as a parent of a tg kid. Susan's Place, for example is a wonderful site and forum: http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php
Thank you
DeleteI'm new to your blog & have no idea what happened with the daycare but it sounds terrible. But huge thumbs on the work your doing for B and how much of a fighter you are, you will make it through! :)
ReplyDelete